By Eric Berry
You wanna fight, Marcus?
I came up with a brilliant idea. At least I think so, anyway. Every now and then you just know when you’ve come up with the “million-dollar idea”. After watching the Celtics/Cavs on Tuesday night I had that moment, the epiphany of all ye epiphanies. And here it is(Dana White please cut me on this when you start this up):
Have any, and all, professional athletes who get in a melee fight each other after the season in a pay per view event. When Marcus Smart charged JR Smith after a brutally dangerous foul on Al Horford and they exchanged unpleasantries, didn’t we all just think to ourselves, let them fight! Sure, it would be a niche audience. But imagine how many people would tune in, and pay, to watch these two supposed tough guys duke it out?
If Marcus Smart was to fight JR Smith, in an MMA or simply a boxing match, wouldn’t you pay? How about Brad Marchand and Ryan Callahan? Of course, Marchand would have to wear some sort of a tongue restricting device, so he couldn’t lick Callahan to death-but still. All of Tampa would watch. Every bar in Boston would be packed.
How about Tyler Austin and Joe Kelly? No more awkward retreats by a pitcher, or equally ungraceful gallops toward a mound to fight it out. After the season, we’ll get into a ring, and fight it out. Wouldn’t Bill Lee have loved to kick Graig Nettles’ keister after Nettles cheap shot on him way back in 1976? Or how about that cheap shot artist Mickey Rivers? Bill Lee and Mickey Rivers in a fair fight. If you haven’t seen that brawl you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohQaOO_mTzs
By the way, Yankees fans cheered the fact that the Spaceman got hurt. I wonder why us longtime Red Sox fans feel the way we do? Anyway, I digress.
You do have to wonder if Don Zimmer, at 72 years old, and Pedro Martinez could have been a fair fight had they met in a ring? Right? I’m think Zim might have taken Pedro in a fair fight.
Let’s put an end to all this machismo on the court bravado. Let’s have Josh Norman and Odell Bechkam Jr. really fight. No helmets, no luxury of being pulled apart. You guys really that tough? Have at it. After the season, in front of the world. The list goes on and on. Aqib Talib vs. Michael Crabtree(over jewelry by the way). George Brett vs. Tim McClelland(player vs. umpire).
In the end there’s no way 100,000 fans aren’t tuning in to one of these events. Let’s call them it the “Tough Guy” series. 100,000 paying fans times $4.99. $500,000 bucks! Give $100,000 to each combatant, pay the necessary Lloyds of London insurance that teams would require in case their athlete suffered a career ending injury, throw in my standard 10% fee, and give the rest to charity. Bam! Everyone is having fun. We settle who really wants to fight and we have a money-making machine.
It ain’t easy coming up with these ideas.